Sunday, June 27, 2010

Two Sides to Every Story

I read an article on
Undocumented couple leaves SB 1070 behind by Daniel González

I am tired of feeling like and being called a racist. I am a loving caring person. This article got me thinking really thinking about the situation our country has gotten it’s self into. Thank you Mr. González for making me think.

Side one. The story that Mr. González shared is one of people, real, live, everyday people that have feelings. People with families, people that want what’s best for their children. They want to live in peace and harmony. They are willing to work hard and take care of their own. Their children go to school. They are doing their best, the best way they know how. They have to give up everything because of a mean spirited law that judges them unfairly. They had to move from friends and family to an unfamiliar state so they can feel free. The story reminded me of the stories of the Jews hiding from the Nazis. The step by step the close calls to being captured, the tears and heart aches. Feeling like you are on their journey with them.

Side two. Wait a minute, these aren’t people being judged unfairly because of their religion, these are people that have broken the law for the past 15 years. These are people that left their family once already to start a new life. This isn’t the first time they have had to cross borders in darkness. They have skirted and broken laws for years. They forged documents and have had to watch their backs for more than 15 long years.

There are consequences for our actions. Many times those consequences affect our families, our children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents and spouses. I feel deeply for others that have been effected by the consequences of others. I have known many who’s whole lives have been up-rooted and turned upside down because of the choices others make. When you break the law you have consequences. The couple in the story said the sweeps made them feel like prisoners. Well you can only feel truly free when you are obeying the law. Their children didn’t want to go to Mexico because they are Americans. The parents, not us, are responsible for the heart ache their children are feeling right now. It is the parents consequences that caused their children to leave their dog and puppies. Do I feel bad for the kids, yes, but that doesn’t mean I think we should change our laws. I hurt for the children but they aren’t the only children suffering because of choices made by loving parents. Millions of children have had to give up beloved pets to move, give up friends, start over because their parents choose to move.

Children are ripped away from their parents every single day in this country because of a parent that chose to break the law. The parent is taken to jail and their children suffer and they have bad dreams, and they cry and hurt because of the choices their parent have made. Has Mr. González and other forgotten completely that being an illegal immigrant means they have broken our law. Someone choosing to break the law does not make me a racist.

Reading this article has also got me to be thinking about the tens of thousands of people that have protested on one side or the other of this heart wrenching issue. Why don’t we get all of those people that feel so strongly together and come up with real solutions that would benefit everyone. Solutions are out there. I am tired of this and other issues ripping our beloved country apart. We are the UNITED States, not this group or that group. We should be working together to make this country the best it can be. A place of peace and plenty. A safe place for our children to grow and prosper.

If all of the protesters got together against the Mexican drug cartel they could conquer the real foe. If the organizers of the protests could organize people to work and create a businesses, if they could come up with a way to create jobs in Mexico those illegal immigrants never would have wanted to leave in the first place. They wouldn’t have to leave their families for a better life. Let’s put our time, money and energy into helping them make their country a great place to live. Let’s be good neighbors and help them take care of their own. Let’s look at why they feel the need to leave in the first place and help with solutions for a better world.

I am not a racist. That's my side of the story.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

In Loving Memory

~this is a repost from last year but since everything still applys I felt it appropriate~
Joseph Peter Berks
Feb 25, 1970 ~ Feb 09, 2000

I was so lucky to have even known Joseph. He was an awesome person that everyone loved. He was warm and friendly and made every person he was around feel like they were the most important person in the world while he talked to them. The happiest I have ever been in my entire life was while I was spending time with him. He brought out the very best in me. I worked every day being a better person because I just wanted to be my best for him, he brought out the most righteous desires in me. Anyone that knew him would say all the same wonderful things about him. His closest friends told me (after he died) that they wanted to be a better person when they were with him, he just had this incredible spirit that brought out the best in those around him.

I have forever engraved in my mind the moment I first met him. I wondered why this cute kid wanted to dance with me. He kept telling me how I was the most beautiful woman in the room (yeah, what ever... he was such a smooser). I thought he was funny and was just being over the top and that he was sooooo fun and I would probably never see him again. He and his friend went to the dance together and I ended up giving his friend a ride home. He NEVER let me forget that either. Since Joseph was so much younger than I was (10 years) I didn't take him serious for quite some time. I kept telling him we were JUST friends. He wanted me to be his girlfriend in the worst way. I remember telling him that he would stay longer in my life if he were my friend than he would if he were my boyfriend. He became the best friend I have ever known. He was my confidant, he was my shoulder to cry on, he was the first person I wanted to share anything with, he was whom I wanted/want to spend my eternity with. He would hold his fingers very close together and say "this is earth life", then he would hold his fingers as far apart as his arms would let him and say, "this is eternity", then he would say, "I want to spend eternity with you". One of the very hardest parts of dealing with any of this is that we weren't sealed when he died. Our earthly vows ended with his death.

Another moment that has forever been ingrained in my mind is Feb 9, 2000. My brother came into my room (it was very early in the morning and I was sound asleep) with his wife Cheryl, she standing in my doorway and he crouched close to me. His words were, "something horrible, horrible, horrible has happened". Never once as my mind raced through what could have happened that would warrant 3 horribles did I think of Joseph, I thought of my kids and what could have possibly happened to one of them. After all the LAST words Joseph uttered to me in person were that we had our entire lives to spend together and I needed to be with my kids right now, soon enough they would be grown and gone and we would still have each other. My brother went on to tell me about a horrific car accident where another very large vehicle rear ended Joseph's little Ford Festiva and that he had died. I asked about his friend but we deduced that since Randy only knew of Joseph that he must have already dropped his friend off. His friend later told me, that night Joseph was the happiest he had ever seen him. His accident happened less than 5 minutes after dropping his friend off.

One year to the day after he died our families traveled to Reno, Nevada to do Joseph's work for him. He wanted more than anything to be baptized and join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He had taken lessons from the missionaries and had been doing everything he could to be baptized. I didn't want him to wait a moment longer than necessary to be able to have all the blessings he was able to. His brother Jacob was his proxy. It was very fitting because of the closeness of the two of them. Jacob was still on his mission but we got permission for him to do his brothers work but we had to do it at the Reno Temple. It was a cloudy day and while they were baptizing Jacob for Joseph the room seemed somewhat darkened but as Jacob went under the water the room became so bright that I HAD to open my eyes and the clouds had parted for only a moment and the room was filled with light! I think Joseph was so happy that his joy beamed through the clouds and warmed our souls.

After ten years I still have a deep hole in my heart. It doesn't hurt as bad on the surface but deep inside I still feel pure agony for his absence. The only way this has be even tolerable is knowing he is with our Heavenly Father. I have always had childlike faith in heaven and what happens to us after this life. I have never doubted. I have always felt very calm about what happens when we leave the earth all my previous experiences with death have brought joy and peace in times where that joy and peace were miracles in and of them selves. For the first time, now, I questioned if what I had always know was true. Would I see him again, is this real or just something I have always told myself to feel better. I was actually in shock that I was even wondering. I had NEVER wondered before. I thought I knew the answer, then why was I afraid of never seeing Joseph again. A deep humble pleading to my Heavenly Father once again brought peace into my heart. I WOULD see Joseph again and Heavenly Father loves me and I will be okay. When my mom died 4 months before Joseph the room filled with joy as she passed. I could feel my grandmother holding me and felt a room full of joyous angles bringing her home. When I was told about Joseph's passing I felt him standing near me but didn't feel joy, instead I felt his spirit so deeply saddened for me and my pain. He was morning with me for MY loss. He could have been feeling joy for himself but he chose to be with me through my pain. I know he truly loves me. I have felt him many times since he has been gone. I felt his presence allot in the beginning and still do from time to time.

One of the greatest gifts Joseph has given me since his passing is he hand picked my, now, earthly companion. I imagine the two Joseph's in heaven trying their hardest to get Brent and I together. I know without a doubt that Joseph wanted me to marry Brent. He didn't want me to be alone and he wanted me to be with someone that would be kind and never speak a harsh word to me. He wanted me to be with someone that would treat me the way he did, and give me all the earthly things I would need and want. Joesph knew I could look past imperfections and see the spirit and potential inside of a kind, gentle man. He knew even better than I did that I needed Brent and would love him.
After he died I was looking through his things and found buried in his sock drawer a valentines card for me. He had already written in it and sealed it. How grateful I am he wasn't a procrastinater. There are too many stories to share on here but I am so grateful for Joseph and for being able to know him. I love that he loved me!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Loosing wieght

I am still loosing. I have lost a total of 24 lbs. Yea me!! Some days it seems so slow but I look back and it really is coming off just right. I am so happy when a loose a new pound!

I have been buying clothes lately because I am being able to wear a size 14 again. Some 14's are still too tight but I fit snugly in most. It is fun not to HAVE to wear an 18 any more!!!

I am even getting used to eating right. I am doing better emotionally with it most of the time too. Being able to buy new (smaller) clothes has really helped.

I have been working at getting my house and yard cleaned up too. It seems the days I don't exercise but really work hard in and outside of my house I burn the most calories. Hows that loose weight AND get a clean house and yard!

Just a few more days until Zach, Manda and the boys come back to Arizona for a short visit, I can't wait!! I am so excited!!!

I got some other good news yesterday, Brent and I are going with our boss and his wife to Pittsburgh later this month! I love to travel and see new things and I am so excited to get more pictures for my I love this beautiful world our Heavenly Father gave us collection!!!!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Food, Diet, Health Choices

Dieting has become my new normal. I don't hate it, or love it. I am ONLY eating right and exercising for one reason... because Joseph deserves to have a mommy in his life. I started a couple of months ago. I did really good for the first month, then I changed one of my meds and it messed my digestive system up and my weight loss (NOT my number one goal but VERY important to me) came to a complete stop for about 3 weeks. I also slipped into not so great habits while. My kind, supportive doctor was so pleased I had lost 8lbs. since my last visit and quickly changed my meds back to the outrageously expensive one that I didn't have any side effects on.
Now I feel like I am rambling... oh well it is MY blog.

I am ready to really hit the dieting/eating right again only even stronger. I have had a few off days or maybe they are just not my best days lately. But with my system feeling better and working the way it should I have lost another 1 lb. in the last week anyway.

I am kind of following the dash diet, the low sodium version and now I am ready to work on reducing my calories. The diet says to take things in steps... so first I got on the diet, not keeping track of calories but only eating things I should. I think that was the HARDEST part of the dieting so far. I cried more than I ate... booo, hooo.... waahhhh
I had no idea how emotional food was for me. I think I actually grieved for the things I couldn't eat any more.
Once I started eating right then I started exercising. Slow at first, then working my way up to 45 mins a day for about 5 days a week. I got so depressed from the one med that I really slowed down then got a really bad toothache that ended my exercising. I figure I will start my routine back at 30 mins a day on Monday. I also started the 3 meals 2 snacks a day routine. I have noticed that since I started doing that my stomach has shrunk and I can't eat nearly as much. I actually can't allow myself to be hungry so if I even feel remotely hungry I eat. I eat healthy but not always low calorie.
So I am now ready to start counting those calories. I had NO idea how many calories were in things until now. Wow somethings are Sooooooo high and others are really low. Like one of my favorite things to eat is avocados... bad no, no food... well high calorie anyway, good for you but I have to be careful of how much I eat. And another one of my favorites is mushrooms and it is low calorie but not a lot of nutrients in them...

So I am on a new adventure... a food one... probably why I haven't posted pictures that I have taken in a while. I am still taking them but the food thing is still consuming my world... for now.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Just for Fun

This is my mom. She was soooo cute... so does she remind any of my kids of their kids?

How about me? does this look like any of the grand kids?

And here I am... There are only a few pictures of me when I was really little.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Mande!!

Happy Birthday Mande!
She was born after a very loooonnnnngggg pregnancy. I was on bed rest for a couple of months and that wasn't easy with 4 other little ones, then she came 2 weeks late and I had to be induced. I remember how HAPPY I was when they announced she was a girl! I wanted her to be a girl soooo badly! Lindsay was as happy as I was for her to have a little SISTER! She was only 4 but carried her around and made sure she was ok.

Isn't she a little doll!!

Mande often hung out with Lindsay and her friends as she grew up!

Mande liked the crazzzy rides!

she was such a little doll!

she did flag in school and was really good at it!

she got an award for her music, I have always been so proud of all her accomplishments!

I LOVE this picture... poor little Tate... squish!

I just want to wish my beautiful little girl a very happy birthday!!! Now she is all grown up and and two adorable little ones of her own!! She was always a fantastic big sister to Joseph and I picture her being just as good a mommy as she was a sister!!
Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

sorry I am sooo slow!

Here is a darling baby girl... I LOVE pink!!!

She is such a darling baby!! Congrats Stephanie!!!